Unconventional Distraction
by Lisa Telramor
Summary: AU He wasn't really the type to go to social events, but he supposed they were an interesting social study. And... The strange woman to his left was showing an indecent amount of shoulder. Hakuba/Kaito, crossdressing, and victorian clothing NOT MINE!
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Another prompt from the Kinkmeme. But it isn't really sexual. Kink is Victorian clothing. All that glimpses of skin. That kind of appeals to me too. And I'm a Kaihaku shipper at heart. So I wrote this. :D I hope it's enjoyable. It is a bit odd, but I tried to keep the characters in character while putting them in an AU of Victorian England. Please read and review!_

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Saguru surveyed the turnout grimly. He supposed he should be enjoying himself. After all, his uncle had so kindly put on the party, and had invited a fair number of reputable young ladies in hopes that one of them might entice him, but in truth, Saguru wasn't the type to enjoy such things. He preferred reading in his study or working on the social theories that so amused his relations in his spare time. Although, he supposed, by socializing a bit, he could better work on his theories. He had to say that though Sir Conan Doyle's character of Holmes was fictional, he quite agreed with the principles. One could infer a lot by watching people.

Like the woman standing near his right. She was obviously insecure of her image. Her bustle was fluffed to enormous proportions, and she clearly had bust enhancers. It even looked like she had shaved her head in favor of a wig, not caring for her natural brown hair color. It was silly. With a bit less rouge, and perhaps a bit subtler artifice, she could have been a very attractive young woman. Not that he cared for that sort of thing. He avoided her eyes as she glanced at him, then past him. No one had yet interrupted his quiet observation in the corner, though he resigned himself to the thought that his uncle would fetch over a girl at some point during the evening. He was more than happy to avoid socialization until then.

There was a man near the food table stealing a silver spoon. He was gentleman in appearance only it seemed. The elbows of his suit were going threadbare, and his ruffles had not been properly starched. He must be desperate to resort to stealing silverware. Saguru made a note to tell the next passing servant so as to alert his uncle of the theft.

A young woman was sneaking out the back door with her lover for more privacy in the garden. Her mother had caught sight of her leaving. He imagined that the resultant confrontation in the future would be unpleasant.

He was just puzzling over the slight limp in a woman addressing his uncle when there was a rustle of fabric to his left. He glanced over to see a young woman leaning innocently against the wall next to him.

"Can I help you?" he asked in what he hoped was a polite voice.

She smiled secretively, and he felt a trill of unease. It was a very flirtatious expression. He wasn't good with flirtatious women—or really any woman now that he thought of it. "I noticed you watching," she said simply. "You can learn so much from observation." She glanced sideways at him from under dark lashes.

Saguru subtly took a step away, trying not to notice how much skin her dress showed. Seeing that much of a woman's shoulders and neck was indecent. The dark curls leading down her neck to accent its grace made it even more so. He caught himself glancing at the necklace leading the eye toward her bust and tore his gaze back onto the crowd. "Yes," he said conversationally, to keep his mind off the pale expanse a few feet away. "It is clear who has influence, who is faking, who is courting whom…"

The wording earned him another mysterious smile. "And yet you stand in the corner not sharing your wit?" she said lightly, as if teasing him.

Saguru wondered how he was expected to respond to that. "I am merely attending on my uncle's request," he answered, sounding stiff even to his own ears.

She seemed to find this funny as her smile widened marginally. She didn't look quite sane, he noted, grinning that way. The shift of curls drew his eyes to her chest. He quickly refocused on the amethyst ear drop dangling a hand span higher. "Are you now? Would you care to socialize with me a bit?"

"I believe I am already socializing whether I wish to or not," Saguru said, meeting her eyes. They were a strange indigo color that he couldn't remember ever seeing in a woman before. His own hazel eyes were far more common a color. If he had been less distracted, he might have noticed the slight twitch of the smile into a smirk.

"I believe," she said, "that there is more to socialization than exchanging a few words. Perhaps we could discuss something? Maybe the horrors of modern fashion?"

Now that was an odd comment. He frowned, glancing at her ensemble. She was wearing the latest fashion. She had on the usual ridiculous bustle, corset, and the like. There was false hair among her natural curls, but it was definitely well matched. Her dress was simply cut compared to the majority of the attendees, just enough ruffles to appear respectably extravagant, and showing just enough skin to be borderline indecent exposure. Her gloves only came to her wrist unlike most of the women's long evening gloves, and she lacked the overly complicated ribbons and bows the others had opted to wear. For all the dress showed so much skin, it left a lot to the imagination, and he wondered if the bust was real or not. For once he couldn't tell. Her makeup was subtly done as well. She seemed a mix of subtle and extreme. "Are you attempting to make a statement?" he asked finally.

"No, although I must point out the ridiculousness of a bustle. It makes walking difficult." She smiled, inviting him into some joke that he wasn't getting. "Or perhaps men's fashion? Tight suit jackets are pleasing to the eye, but they are difficult to walk in, even if easier than layers of petticoats."

"Is there a point to your comments?" Saguru shifted back as she set a gloved hand on his arm. "I believe you are being improper. I have made no insinuation that I desire your attention."

"Oh haven't you?" She smirked for real this time. "You are not the only one who observes where eyes are attracted."

He flushed guiltily, glancing damningly at her exposed throat again. "Er…" Not the most intelligent of comments he had ever made.

"Walk with me," she purred.

Against his better judgment, he found himself being pulled along with her. "Are you a fan of Sherlock Holmes?" he asked desperately, trying to distract himself from the hand tucking him intimately against a feminine form.

"Mm." She smiled unnervingly at him. "I am more of an Arsène Lupin fan."

"The thief?"

"Exactly."

"Ah." That was the extent of his ability to converse before he noticed the gloved hand skimming down the side of his face as he was directed into a secluded area he believed was the garden though he was not entirely sure. He couldn't seem to stop staring at the strangely colored eyes. When the other hand was laid on his shoulder he felt a moment of panic. "Madam, this really isn't pro—!" He was cut off by a kiss, which he truly didn't know how to respond to. He had never kissed a woman before, or cared to try. It wasn't as unpleasant as he had expected. Actually, it was rather enjoyable if he ignored that it was coming from a woman he had just met.

Saguru jerked away. "Is this how you always act around gentlemen?"

The woman grinned, an expression entirely unsuitable for her image. "Only the ones I find interesting." She pushed her chest against him, and he blinked. The bone of the corset was there, and something soft, but it was not moving the way flesh would. And this close something was bothering him, if he could just figure it out. He moved to push her away and froze, finally realizing what had been bothering him.

"My God, you're a man."

The cross-dressing man laughed, still feminine, making Saguru feel both ill and horribly curious. He discarded the emotions. "I was wondering if you'd notice." The voice dropped at the end to a more masculine tone that if anything was even more seductive. He really didn't want to think about the way that voice impacted him more than the previous flirtations had.

"What on earth are you doing dressed like-like…"

"Like a sophisticated flirt? Consider it a hobby." Gloved hands smoothed Saguru's jacket where it had been disturbed. "I suppose I will have to end here since you found me out."

"How far were you planning on going?" Saguru asked aghast.

"How far would you have liked?"

His face turned crimson and the stranger laughed, the sound much more natural and rich in his real tone of voice. "Relax," he said. "I wouldn't have done much. Now, Mr. Holmes want to be, what can you deduce about me?"

"That you are insane?" Saguru said weakly.

"Mm, but I feel that there's more to me than that. Ah." He glanced over Saguru's shoulder at something. "I believe it is time for me to leave. It was pleasant…conversing with you. We will have to do this again sometime."

The insinuations were enough for Saguru to blush all over again. He wondered how improper it was that he was actually considering the offer. Somehow he was sure his uncle would not be too pleased if he learned the result of his party meant to attract women for Saguru's interest had resulted in the knowledge that he might not like women at all.

"I'll play with you later then," the strange man said with another baffling grin.

Saguru watched him walk away, hips swishing seductively most likely thanks to the bustle, before leaning against a conveniently placed bench. He could still feel the silk gloves smoothing his shirt. He swallowed heavily. He frowned as he realized his suit jacket was missing the usual bulge in its right front pocket. He slipped a hand in, checking it. Instead of his usual pocket watch was a small paper card with a small doodle in the corner and a short message.

_If you want to be a detective, you could use a bit more practice in knowing how people interact. Take your time and if I deem it well spent, you'll see me again._

"He stole my watch!" Saguru blurted indignantly. And was it irony that he had mentioned time in stealing his watch? "That bastard," he said crudely. He did have a point. He was too easily distracted by a pretty face. Next time he would get the better of the strange thief. And perhaps understand his motives a bit better.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: I wasn't originally going to do another portion for this, but I more or less got an unofficial drabble request and wrote this in response. Hope you like it. Read and review please!_

Saguru did a double take at the figure nonchalantly sitting on his garden wall. If he hadn't been quite so close and personal to this same person only a short time ago, he would have never made the connection at all.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he demanded.

The man on the wall, dressed quite fashionably if you ignored the looser fitting bottoms he had on and that he was wearing all white, smirked as he swung neatly onto the ground. "What, are you so adverse to seeing me already? And I even went to the trouble of dressing up for you."

"You...the dress...And now... What is wrong with you?" Saguru felt completely baffled. All his deducing and rational thought seemed to fly out the window at the sight of this bizarrely infuriating man.

The man looked a bit disappointed. "First you're horrified that I was dressed as a woman, and now you're annoyed that I'm dressed as a man? I thought you'd be more comfortable if I came dressed like this." He waved at his casual strolling clothes with a sigh. "It seems you are a hard man to please."

The mention of their last confrontation brought Saguru back to himself with a snap. "You stole my pocket watch!"

"Hmm?" He blinked as if that were beside the point, which it was if Saguru had taken the time to think about it. He didn't care about pleasantries at the moment though. "Oh, this?" The watch appeared as if by magic. "It's pretty. I was planning on pawning it off, but I figured I would hold onto it."

"My father gave me that!" He lunged at the thief, his target gliding away.

The other man laughed and they ran around a good bit of the garden before he handed the precious collection of gears and metal back. "Here. I wouldn't take it if it were important to you."

Saguru, panting while the other man seemed completely at ease, snatched it back and looked it over. It still worked. "Who are you anyway?"

"You tell me Mr. Detective."

Saguru wondered for one moment if there was something wrong with him, for the thief still looked as appealing as he had in the dress, even with his more masculine stature being emphasized in his clothing. Then the other man grinned and he realized he didn't care. He would find out who he was one way or another.


End file.
